Staff Engineer Code Review

Stop guessing. Give it the symptom and the code — it ranks the likely causes and tells you the one thing to test next. Diagnoses before it touches a fix.

Stuck? Explain the problem to it out loud. It asks the questions that make you find your own bug — and only steps in when you're truly stuck.

That boring task you do by hand every week. Describe it — get a script to automate it, with setup steps simple enough that a non-coder can run it.

Paste the stack trace that means nothing to you. Get what actually broke, why, and the most likely fix — in plain English.

Find the holes before someone else does. Paste your code — it runs an OWASP-style security review and tells you what an attacker would try first.

Test's red and you don't know if it's the code or the test. Paste both — get whether the test is wrong, the code is wrong, and exactly what to fix.

Paste anything that reads like a robot wrote it. Get it back sounding like a human with an opinion — short sentences, no 'leverage,' no fluff.

Say what you want in plain English, get clean SQL back — plus the gotchas (nulls, dupes, slow joins) you'd only find in production at 2am.

Dropped into unfamiliar code? Paste it. Get the map — what it does, how it flows, and where the bodies are buried — before you touch a thing.

Not a 5am ice-bath fantasy. Tell it your real mornings — get a routine that fits your actual life and sets the day up without the guru nonsense.

Debt across a few places and no plan? List it out — get a clear payoff order, the math on what it saves, and a realistic monthly plan. Not financial advice, just clarity.

You're bleeding money on stuff you forgot you pay for. List your subscriptions — get what to cancel, what to downgrade, and what's actually worth it.

Car, appliance, or something in the house making a worrying sound? Describe it — get the likely causes, how urgent it is, and whether it's a DIY or a 'call someone now.'

You know you should. Paste the function — get the test cases that actually catch bugs, including the edge cases you'd forget at 6pm.

Your query's slow and the EXPLAIN output is gibberish. Paste it — get what's actually happening, the bottleneck, and the index or rewrite that fixes it.

Avoiding something and you don't even know why? Tell it the task — it digs out what's really blocking you and gives you a first step small enough to just do.

Paste your data. Get the story behind it, the one surprising thing, and three decisions to make this week. No "it depends."

Big project, no idea where to start? Describe it — get it broken into clear phases and next actions, with the order and the thing to do first.

Plan the week so it doesn't plan you. Brain-dump everything — it sorts what matters from what's noise and builds a week you can actually breathe in.

Don't pick a stack you'll fight for years. Describe what you're building and your skills — get a real recommendation with trade-offs, not hype.

A new hire's first weeks decide if they thrive or quietly check out. Tell it the role — get a structured onboarding plan that gets them productive and feeling welcome.

Wronged by a company and getting nowhere? Tell it what happened — get a complaint that's firm, factual, and hard to brush off, with exactly what you want.

Hosting and broke? Tell it how many people and your budget — get a menu that feeds everyone, looks generous, and doesn't blow the bank.

Building something and need fake-but-realistic data? Describe the shape — get a clean sample dataset with believable values and the edge cases to test.